Fantastic 4

This week, we've written songs about Fantastic 4 (2005)! 

Two new songs this week: Freak of the Week and Fantastic

Fantastic Four (2005), directed by Tim Story, follows four astronauts—Reed Richards (Ioan Gruffudd), Sue Storm (Jessica Alba), Johnny Storm (Chris Evans), and Ben Grimm (Michael Chiklis)—who gain superpowers after being exposed to cosmic radiation during a space mission. As they struggle to control their new abilities and navigate their altered relationships, they must unite to stop the villainous Victor Von Doom (Julian McMahon), whose own transformation poses a global threat.

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Transcript

0:02

This week on the podcast, we've written songs about Fantastic Four from 2005. It's podcast and time. Hello, hello and welcome to the Rides Revue podcast. I'm Rob and I'm Andy, and we are back once again talking about 2005. Fantastic four. Andy, how are your family? How are how is your family doing? There we go. That was smooth. That was smooth. If I were to describe that, the word I'd use is smooth, smoother than a baby's buttocks. I wouldn't say that. Robbie. Smoother than a camel who's had his humps lopped off. I've said smooth in any way, Robbie. This is just a flat surface. Now. Oh, okay. Smoother than my brain. I'm a rather smooth brained individual. Smooth brain, Robbie. We call them. I'm good. Robbie. How are you? I'm very well. When I was born, the doctor said I had the smoothest brain they'd ever seen. Wow. Oh, yeah. They said there's not a wrinkle on this. And it's just because it's a young brain. It's not old enough for wrinkles 88. What is it with this brain to have gray hairs, too? And they're like, brains are gray. They're not pink like we think they are. It was a whole mess. Yours is pink. Yeah, I injected it into my skull. It is weird that you walk around the people and going, ask me if it's pink, and then when they get weirded out, you go. My brain. Yeah. Yeah. That is something I do a lot. Yeah, it makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Much to everyone's chagrin. You think so? Yeah. You just. Yeah. Chagrin. But they're grinning. Robbie? Robbie! Oh, look at chagrin. Right. That's what that means. Chagrin. Oh, that's when someone's grinning like a chic grin. Yeah. Yeah. That's what. That's what a woman is. Happy. She grin. She grin. Yeah. Robbie, what year would you say that this. This movie that we're covering today came out? I think that's a great question. And I will answer that for you because it came out in the year of our Megazord 2005 2005. You say, let me, let me let me tell you something, Robbie. 2005 Barely Alive. Wow. That's just. That's just a rhyme. It doesn't really make any sense. Yeah, yeah, that. And that's okay. That's okay. Robbie. Number 11 is fantastic for Fantastic Four was number 11 in 2005. Yes. That's crazy. Should have been number four. In a perfect world. That's correct. It. 333 million smackers on a budget of $100 million. Pretty good. Pretty good. Made some money. Had you. Had you seen this movie before, Rob? I had not seen this before. This was my first time seeing this. Same. Well, I should just do the top ten or top five. Eddie, I think you should figure that out before we start recording. I'm going to go to number ten. I'm. Number ten is hitch. That movie sucks. I would be so bad I've ever seen it. Is that Will William Smith? Yeah. Will Smith and Kevin James. I saw that in theaters. That's that's that's on you, brother. Yeah, I know. Number nine is Batman Begins. I saw that in theaters also. Same. I actually love it. You know, I love Batman. First time I saw it, I didn't love it. What about the second time? Yeah, I liked it a lot more. Yeah, it's a good movie. Good movie, I like it. Nice coat. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is number eight. I never saw that. Me neither. Number seven is Mr. and Mrs. Smith go to Washington? Yeah. It's like Mr. Smith goes to Washington. Mr.. And Mrs.. The sequel. Wow. It's it's he's bringing his wife this he brings his wife. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like he's like I'm going to cheat on my current wife and I'm going to leave her for you. And it's weird because they're both named Smith, so it's weird that they already had the same name. It's a pretty common last name. Sounds made up. It does, doesn't it? Number six is Madagascar. How can it? How can an island nation be in the box office? What's going on here? I mean, that's that's wild. You know what else is crazy? Al Gore is also mad at gas cars. You just come up with that? I did. It's impressive. Robbie. Sorry. Yeah. I was dating a girl for a long time. And one time she's like, I'm going to join the Peace Corps. I was like, oh, where are you going? To go help Africa. And she goes, no, Madagascar. And I was like, you're stupid. Madagascar was an island off of Africa. Right, right. But of course, I was also young and stupid because like, that was. That's a that was my response of what? Are you going to go help Africa or something? Is very ethnocentric and very gross. Like, what are you going to go help people that aren't American? You. Yeah. Gross. But you know, that was stupid. Teenage Rob. Listen, listen, I don't think there's ever been a smart teenager. No, there has been. Yeah, yeah. Was pretty smart. But I know how you feel about her. Yeah, I think she's smart. Yeah. She's not a teenager. No, no, no. Number five is King Kong. Not previous episode, Kong Skull Island, but King Kong for Peter Jackson. I saw that, too. Me too. I saw that in theaters. I didn't see that in theaters. It was all right. Very long. Yeah, it is very long. A lot of long. A lot of, long shots of them just looking at each other like this, like, hey, let's, let's move it along here. Pete. Petey. Jack's, number four is War of the worlds. Steve. It feels to me because I saw it. It was pretty good. If I recall. War of the World Wars. It was World War one versus World War two. Wow. Who won World War II? Two. Better weapons. Better weapons? Yeah. Just makes sense, you know? Yeah. Number three is Chronicles of Narnia The Lion, the witch and the wardrobe. So that in theaters, that's also way too long, really, with Liam Neeson doing the voice of Aslan, the lion. Wow. I have a very particular set of skills, and then he just rips this kid's throat. It's. It's mauling. Yeah. Number two is previous episode. Star Wars episode three, revenge of the Sith. Check that out. Revenge of the sixth. You know, you're playing a you're playing like the the six in a, a key or something, I don't know. Okay. And accord. Sure, sure, sure. The relative minor. Yeah. There you go. Number one, of course, is Harold Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Harry Potter and the Goblin. That fire dog. I'm going to tell you, it wasn't as good as mad at gas cars. Okay. Yeah, I didn't think so either. But you know what? It came out of my mouth. Hey, there's a lot of times, once it's here, it's here. And if you're not watching on YouTube, I pointed at my brain and then my lips. And when I pointed at my lips and his heart won a flutter, it's. You know, what did Robbie? I do have the vapors. You need a good vapor tight fixture. Yeah. Yeah. From getting to your light bulbs. Yeah. I'm going to get moldy or something. Yeah. Mold. Mold. Ears. I don't know if the mold year, I should say, because I'm already pretty moldy, brother. Yeah, that's why we call. That's why we call you blue cheese. Andy. Yeah, because you're smegma is blue cheese. I'm going to scream at the top of my lungs because I actually asked my veterinarian, not my veterinarian, my dog and cats. Veterinarian. Because if I went to the vet, I'd probably save money on medical bills, but I asked, I was like, hey, my dog's wiener gets gunky. And she's like, that's very normal. It's just smegma. And I was like, is that the technical term for it? And she was like, I'm not going to say dick cheese to a patient. I was like, well, I'm not the patient. The dog is, and we've got this whole circle thing. But that's not really the point. I was just stunned to hear the vet say, call it smegma. And I was like, oh, that's just what we call it. Yeah. Hey, band name? No, never anything years. Okay, okay. Well, go get so much smegma. It's fucking gross. I think it's I think it's a strange thing to talk about in a Fantastic Four podcast. That's what I think. You brought it up. I did not. I forgot how you got on the topic. I'm going to be honest. You just started talking about dick cheese or something. Oh. You're right. Yeah, cause you were saying how you're smegma was like blue cheese. No, Robert, you said that. I did not say that about myself. I'm fat. Oh, not a not about yourself, Rob. You said it about me. Yeah, cause I'm fixed. Okay, Anthony. Rolled tape. That's Anthony. Oh, no. Oh, shit. We locked him in there the first week. He's dead. He's been locked in there since the Jurassic Park episode. Oh, no. I have to inform his family. That's all right. Oh, hold on. Hello? Anthony's family. Hello. They're also locked to. I'm beginning to think they never existed. Shit. Well, we should probably talk about Fantastic Four. That's probably a better thing to talk about. Yeah, than that little fake, fake dead people. Well, yeah. Dick cheats. I would also like to stress you like my joke that when I said I'm fixed, implying that I think fixed means circumcised. I forgot the word. You know, I kind of glossed over it well, over me because I'm, slow. I almost said fixed means castrated. And that's exactly what it means. That is what it means. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm not married yet. Oh, nice. Nice. Got the ball and chain. Oh. Going on. All right, let's talk about 2005. Fantastic four. The movie opens up with Ben Grimm and Reed Richards. They're outside of somewhere. I don't think this is the Baxter Building. This is like Victor Von Doom. Von Doom industries, right? It's a building. It's a building. And Victor Von Doom had a 30ft statue built of himself outside his offices. That's not 30ft. Because we zoom out. It's maybe ten feet. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, it's got the the bolts, you know. It's a nice little allusion to doom. It is? Yeah. Richards pitches something to Von Doom about clouds with energy forces that caused life or something. This is also where we meet Sue storm, who clearly has something going on with Von Doom. Richards and Von Doom agree to a deal. Judging by everyone's reactions, the deal isn't very good for Richards. But let's be honest, none of this matters. Yeah, I like I thought my initial, thoughts about this movie were that like, look at it, look at all the all the posters and stuff. It looks very comic book. Yeah. And the movie is not. It is not. It's very melodramatic. It's very like they really want this. They really force this love story on us. Yeah. And it's kind of all right. It is kind of boring because they focus on the wrong duo. We spend way too much time with the wrong duo. Yeah, we should be. I mean, I thought, Ben, I thought Ben Grimm was the best part of this movie. Easy, chick. Listen, Evans have incredible chemistry in this movie. Chemistry, Robbie. Fuck, fuck. You know, for letting. But Chiklis and Evans are the most interesting part of this movie. Like that dynamic that we start to see here when Ben wants to pilot their ship, but they're like, it's going to be Sue's brother, Johnny. And we cut to Chris Evans riding a motorcycle, kissing a woman who is driving a car. And Ben Grimm's like, I'm not working under him, and he's kind of justified seeing that action. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, that guy is pretty loose with his safety. But we also learned that Johnny had crashed a flight simulator when he brought these two women into the flight simulator. I thought that was a very funny bit. Yeah. They essentially characterized Johnny as, like Skyfox. Yeah. And he does. He does? Yeah. I mean, look at him. Yes. Evans. Oh, yeah. They get their suits on, and I like that they all have their names on their suits. Like, you all know each other. It's for the audience, you know, but I watching the movie. Yeah, but it's boring. I was bored, man. I was bored. I'll be honest. I like this a lot more than I thought I was going to. I thought I was going to like it. I thought it was okay at best. Although I agree with that. It's not good. Yeah. Yeah. But, like, I thought I was walking into, like, this atrocious, like, pile of garbage. But then watching Michael Chiklis as Ben Grimm and Chris Evans as Human Torch or Johnny Storm, I'm like, oh, they saved this movie. Yeah, they're fun and you know. You know, I thought I was going to like it because I thought it was going to be very cartoony and and silly, and it is at times. But like for the most part, like we said, it's melodramatic and like focusing on the two most boring characters. Yeah. And also a lot of it is also like they're hot. Look at them. They're hot. Yeah. I mean, this is very mid 2000s. Yeah. From the X-Games bit the snowboarding, the music, the constant need to have Jessica Alba and Chris Evans with no clothes on. Yes, yes. And also you gotta give them a little credit because Chris Evans we see more of Chris Evans than we do Jessica Alba and that's true. That's I give them credit for that one. But then again, I ain't complaining about Chris Evans walking around shirtless. Looks good. Like, I it's got that early 2000 thing when the Fox movies did this a lot where it's like, you're wearing that. That's your that's what you're wearing is like the costume. Like, that's pretty comic book accurate. And it's like, why you poopoo in that? Well, I do kind of like how it wasn't all of them shitting on the costume, because we do get human torture on Pompeii. Like, I don't know, I think it looks good. I think it looks fly. Shit. Yeah, and he's right. Yeah. I think it looks good. I think all of this looks pretty good. I thought even the stretchy stuff looked pretty good. Yeah, the stretchy stuff was fine because they didn't do a lot of it. Yeah. That's truth. But I thought the thing I love the design of the thing looks great. I wish his brow came out a little bit. Yeah. The one thing that I'd really don't think looked good is when Chris Evans would become, you know, when he'd go flame on. I don't think that looks very good. No, that, that's that's the one thing that really aged. But I think, the fire around him, I think they used real fire. They set Chris Evans on fire. Oh my God. Yeah. Hell of an actor. No. Like they use actual fire and then, like, put it on him, you know? Yeah. Digitally. And that looks good. Like the stuff around him looks good, but when he's all fiery. Nah, it doesn't look like that scene when he's in the chamber and they're like, don't go supernova. Yeah. You go Super Saiyan God. Oh, Baru. Okay. Evans plays such a good asshole, which is incredible because he's such a good Captain America. Yeah, he's it Chris Evans it turns out he's a good actor. Yeah, yeah, but Von Doom talks to Sue storm. They have a thing going on. We also learned that her and Reed have a past. I don't give a fuck about any of this. Yeah, it's kind of like, It's like they're like, hey, we know that these two are supposed to be together, and we know that. You know that. So, like, we'll give you we'll give you something in that, in that lane, but like, just put them together, like, have them be that from the start, like, who cares who. Well, that's the thing. When you already have the dynamic of Grimm and Johnny Storm, you don't need this, will they? Won't they? With Sue storm and Reed Richards? You just don't need it. Yeah. You know, we already have the main conflict of this movie, and the main heart of this movie turns out to be Ben Grimm. Yeah, he's the emotional pull of this movie. We don't need any of this. All of this doesn't matter. And it takes time away from the story of Ben Grimm. Sure. Also, I think that this movie is sorely lacking in action. I would agree with that. Yeah. That being said, I don't think it's poorly paced. I think we get in and out of there an hour. 45 is a good length of time for this movie. Yeah, I don't think I don't think they'll runtime is bad. I think the pacing itself is a I don't know, it could be better. We see Reed doing some calculations. It turns out something is wrong because instead of seven hours for this storm to hit, it's a matter of minutes. Yeah. How did you get it that wrong before even going into space? Yeah, I don't know. They they all also said, like building. They were hyping up Reed and saying like, you know, this guy's never wrong. And then he's like, first thing he's wrong way wrong. Yeah, he's very wrong. Like I did, like how, like they all get blasted with radiation. It looks good. I thought this this whole supernova thing, whatever it is, the storm, it looked good. And they're getting zapped. Cool. We also see during this moment because, like, Ben's out of the ship, and he's trying to do whatever as he's trying to get back. You can see that Johnny, while he's constantly cracking jokes. He genuinely cares about Ben, right? Right. You know, he's cracking because earlier we had him do this thing. It was, the seeing the face of your former CEO. Priceless. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is really good stuff. And here he's like, come on, Ben, just jump. You gotta do it right. He doesn't want him to die, right? He really wants him to be okay because he cares about him. And he's just, you know, he's just busting his balls, right? And we cut to this bit after we see the Fantastic Four kind of get all their powers, which I kind of like. Yes. Because we see Reed, he's like getting hit in his neck, like stretching. Yeah. Oh. Oh, like a flame hits Johnny Storm. I don't think a giant rock just hits Grimm on that. Yeah, yeah, you got, like, the the coconut sound from sort of doom. And we cut to Ben gets woken up by Johnny. This was very funny when he's like, yeah, but doctors did all they could, but they couldn't. He just couldn't fix your face. So we placed the mirror at him. I was really laughing. The whole that got me, that got me. I thought I was like, oh shit, he's already the thing. But, no, he's not. And, it's rude. That's a rude thing to do. I also think this was a great play on, because it reminded me of the scene from the Batman 89 movie with Joker, the mirror. Yeah. And he's like, we did all we could. That's what this was really reminding me of. Yeah, and that fake out where he's totally looks totally fine. It was great. And it it got me to. I thought he was going to be a Rockman. Yeah, I thought he was going to be Rockman Jones. I thought he was going to be a rock DJ. And the Robbie Williams song was going to start playing when he turns into a monkey. Wow. By the way, Batman 89 previous episode. Check it out. Excellent point. Reed cares for storm a bit in the hospital, and again, their love story is not as interesting as the John Ember. He remembers. Her favorite flower hobby. Oh. He does care. He does care. I don't well, I don't right. That's the whole thing is like the character. I think they got the characterization for the most part. It's all very surface level. But you know, like classically, you know, Reed Richards is like a super genius who has no idea about any social anything. Right? Right. And because of that, Sue and she even says point blank in this movie, like, I feel invisible. And it's like, okay. Yeah, that's the whole thing. Like Ben Grimm, you know, he's the rock because he he's always there for you and he's hardheaded and he's stubborn, so he's a rock, but Reed Richards always, you know, he's stretching himself thin because he's, you know, always working and all this stuff. Sue storm feels invincible, invisible because Reed Richards is ignoring her. Right. And, Johnny Storm is a hothead. And, you know, he's a fire guy. You know what's interesting about y'all? I don't think they do enough to show him being a hothead. Really? In this movie? No, it's more like he's, He's he's impulsive. Bad ass. Yeah, yeah, because they're like, he's a real hothead, but he only, like, fights people when, like, I understand his thinking of, like, later on, he's like this is cool, right? And I mean, I think the characterization of him is pretty good. Ben Graham is pretty good. And I think they kind of dropped the ball with Reed and Sue because it's they're not really doing anything. It's all just like Will they will nobody, nobody nobody cares. Robbie. Well, I would argue that's because Jessica album and Ian Gruffudd are bad actors. They're not good and they're both bad in this. Come on, Robbie, I actually think that the cast itself, I think there will cast. I just, you cannot tell me in good faith that Jessica Alba is good in this movie. No, no, I don't think Jessica Alba. I haven't seen much of Jessica Alba, but there was this one movie. I don't remember the name, but she played a teacher or a substitute teacher or something, and it was the Corniest corn fest I've ever corned in my whole life. And I've corned a lot of corn fests. Yeah, you're really into corn. I love corn, yeah, you eat corn the long way, as they say. You know me roughly. And I remember thinking there's. How did this even get made? Because it's like, not only is this plot bananas and dog shit, but her acting was rough, like, rough like Mark. Rough. Hello. Very good. Who's a pretty good actor, right? Yeah. I mean, I haven't seen him in a la. Anyway, she's not a great actor and that's that's known. I think they I think we all know why they cast her. Yeah of course. But like, she was very takes away from the movie and I right I agree I agree but I think it's decent casting especially for the time because she's, you know, she had a lot of heat on her and what's his name? I think he looks he, he does have a great look. Yeah, that is true. I just don't think he's good at it. I also think part of the problem is Ian and Jessica Alba have zero chemistry, whereas Chiklis and Evans have really good chemistry together. Yeah, yeah, I agree, they play on each other really well, whereas these two, it's just like it's two pieces of cardboard talking to each other. Yes. Yeah, yeah, two planks of wood. Yeah, I don't know. Like, how do you feel about doom? It's fine. I think the design is great. I think that the the look at the end. Not bad. Yeah. I really like the Doctor Doom look, the acting is whatever, I think because the guy playing him is Julian McMahon, who's playing Doctor Doom is Julian McMahon. He's an Australian actor. JD he was the son of the Prime Minister of Australia. Really? Yeah. I get I kind. And, I think he's like totally fine. I think what they fail here is we don't get enough mentions of Latvia. Yeah, we get one early on. Yes. One at the very end. And his Australian accent is like in and out during the movie. Yeah. And I think part of me wonders if they tried to tell him, like, remember, you're from Latvia, not a real country. So try to do a weird accent. But you've lived in America this whole time because that's what like that for me and proves the movie and believes his performance when I hear his Australian accent come out every now and then. Yeah, I mean, I think generally the Doctor Doom in this is just in it's just incorrect, you know, and. Oh yeah, and that's okay. You know, it's 2005. They were still figuring this shit out. But I also was not really captivated when he was on screen. No, not at all. No, I'm also going to be totally honest. I've never been the biggest Fantastic Four fan. Okay. Yeah. Again, no, this was never my thing. So I don't know too much about the lore and all that. Yeah, I mean, I don't I haven't read too much. I, I just know it's like when you think Stan Lee. At least when I think Stan Lee, I think Fantastic Four and Spider-Man. Did he do a lot more? Yeah, but, like, these are his babies. Yeah. You know, and Jack Kirby, of course, but, I don't know, I think it's, I mean, they're responsible for the resurgence of comic books and superheroes and stuff. I'm not saying Fantastic Four is bad. I've just never read it. Of course, of course, I, I agree, I haven't really read it either, but I know that it's important, and I know that it's important that these things, you know, get correct representation in this type of media, you know, like it's I hope that fantastic for the Marvel, the MCU one is good. I'm going to be honest, I am cautiously optimistic. But it's like it's like degrading over time. I don't know why. I'm just like, honestly, even if the if the movie's bad, that score makes makes up for it. No. That's fantastic. Oh, I'm like, oh hell yeah, the score is fine, but the movie's got to be good. The movie has to hit. Because here's the thing there has not been a great Fantastic Four movie. No, there has been this which is okay, and the sequel is better is what I've seen. Rise of the Silver Surfer meaning like, cover it, maybe we'll cover it right? B but I did see the one from 2015 and that was awful. That's yeah, that's what I hear. So they have to nail it. You they have no room for error here. Yeah. You know you know it's a pretty cool iteration of the fantastic Four. You ever watch Batman Beyond? A little bit. They had a, They couldn't obviously they can't use Fantastic Four because DC Batman is DC. So I, John, Paul, George and Ringo, the Fab Four, very good. No, they they did like I forget what they were called, but there were three of them and they did like Johnny Storm and the thing combined. And he was like a magma guy. Okay. And then there was like an invisible woman, but she was like made of gas. She was like vapor. And then there was a shell, and then there was a stretchy dude. And it was like, you know, a very it was essentially the same thing. They got like a burst of radiation. They got powers and they were saving people. And Batman's like, oh, this is good. This is a good thing. But then they're like, something's a little off. And they find out that they are slowly like their DNA is decomposing and they're slowly going insane. And yeah, it was really, really good. So if, you know, check that out. All right. I brought that up. But check it out. It's good. All right. I'll check it out. That's fun. Yeah. Johnny decides to leave the hospital. We then get Maria menounos. And. Did you catch what? Maria menounos is credited as? No, she is credited as Sexy Nurse. That's her. This is a character who has a name tag, so they very easily could have just given her a name. Yeah, like, I don't know, Martha's the nurse, but. No. Yeah, she is credited as Sexy Nurse. That's crazy. She's in more than, like, one scene. Yes, because after Ben conference Reed Richards, we get the most mid 2000 scene possible as Johnny and sexy nurse go hello. Boarding. Johnny eventually combusts. Yeah. She finds him naked in an impromptu hot spring and he goes, want to join me? And he's like, care to join me? And instead of questioning any of this, she's turned on and like, drops are a little like ski things. It's like, what do we do in here? Yeah. I mean, first off, she's she had no mention of no movie, which I thought was strange. I don't get it. Yeah. If we go to the movies and Maria menounos is like, thanks for watching movie. Now time for the trailers. Oh, no. I usually see her at gas stations. Oh, I don't see her. Yeah, behind the gas station. Giving dome to the. Never mind. Jesus, Maria. What happened? That's so rude. That. I'm sorry. Maria menounos. I shouldn't have said that. That was you. I do see you on the gas station TV, but that was very rude of me to imply that she's giving. Don't, homeless men behind gas stations? No, she's. I mean, she's not my Uncle Jeff. Oh, boy. I've got no beef with Maria. Oh. Me neither. She's a WWE superstar. But she. Yeah, she's wrestled a little bit. Well, good for her. I think I'm like, battle royals and shit. Also, your boy just kisses her like, he's like. She's like, hey, I'm the nurse. And he's like, smooch! Cause he hadn't even noticed that. Yeah. And she's. But that's the thing. She's not, taken aback by it. She's just like, hey, hey, it looks like Chris Evans, right? Right, right. Still, you know, I did that. No you don't, but if you or I did that, it's a suit. If Chris Evans does that, it's like, don't do it again. Or you might be able to. Who knows? Because you look like that. I don't know. Either way. She takes his temperature and when she. Yes. 209. Okay. And she's just like barely alarmed by this. She's like, Yeah. I'll go snowboarding with them. Okay. Well she's like, well, first I have to get off work. Yeah. And he's like, all right, meet me at the mountain. And then they're just the rest of your shift investigating why he went, why you just do what? You're nine degrees. Maybe go to a doctor, a supervisor, someone like, hey, this guy just, 209, is that okay? Also, they're professional skiers and snowboarders. They're fucking sure of hell. I assume they're shredding that mountain. Dude, listen, I just kind of assume, like Johnny Storm doing this, like, it makes sense. We've see him for the motorcycle. Okay, fine. That's his thing. But the nurse just happens to be able to do this to us. Incredible. Like it's insane. You can very easily just give Johnny a lady friend who he's known, who he does this stuff with, instead of just finding this nurse who is just able to help aboard. Yeah, yeah. Is hella boarding. That's like. It's hella cool. That's what Laura called it. She just called it hella boarding. So that's what I'm calling it. Is that a real thing? I've never even heard that in my whole life. She loves that X-Games shit. I have no idea. Okay? I like real sports. Yeah, like cricket. That's a real. That's more of a sport than the fucking X-Games. I'm going to get so much hate. Listen, I don't, I don't, I don't give a shit. I was like, white people across the country are already, like, putting their monsters down and angrily typing to me, skateboarding is not a crime. Listen to that. I'll say, here I am doing everything I can. Tony Hooks, you know, because I'm a Superman. Yeah. Last week. That's right. You know. Do you remember that? Well, those guys are just going. Skateboarding is not a crime. It's like, who said it was, I don't know, I used to, I used to skateboard. Did you know. How'd that go? I had, I had, toy machine. It's got that little monster. He's red. Check it out, everybody. I used to waterboard skates like the little marine creature skates. It turns out it would just help them. You're a hero. Yeah. That's great. No, I'm. Because it was torture. Because they'd be like, I need only water. I drop, drop like this is just barely keeping me alive. Robbie. You're twisted. Yes, I am the I am the skates evilest villain. I will kill all skates in the ocean. Skates are a type of fish, right? I don't know, man. I kind of lost the thread a couple of minutes ago. Yes, it. That's okay. I'm not wrong. It looks kind of like a ray. A ray? Yeah. When I went fishing with my dad years ago, my dad and I used to go fishing all the time on, like, charter boats and shit, and I was really little. I beg him to come. Some guy caught one of these next to me, and I called it a sea monster because I was like six. I was like, you got a sea monster, daddy, eat. Kill it. Yeah, dude, he kills us. You ever see a skate before? No. Let me look it up there. Is that gross little there, gross little things. But I was absolutely. I got two monitors now, so now I do. I do shit like this. Oh, that's really cool. These hacking. And he's he's in, in the Pentagon right now and there's a, there's a copious amount of terrible, terrible porn. I figured there would be. Andy. No, it's the Pentagon. Sam. What am I looking up? Skate, skate seven. Skate fish and you'll see it. It's a weird thing. And if you're, you know, it's funny. We're on YouTube. I should share my screen. So the viewers can see what a skate is, but I'm not, it's like a it's like a it's like a ray. Ray. Yeah. Like it's really ugly. Yeah. It's like stingrays are cute. Skate. You know, we should do we should do a smash or pass and just show different types of fish. Yeah. Maybe not smash smash smash smash smash smash smash probably loves fish. I've tried the claw. So Von Doom starts to notice that he has these powers when he's talking to his assistant, Hamish Linklater. Batman himself. Have you watched, any of the new Amazon Prime Batman, the Caped Crusader? No, I haven't, Hamish Linklater is the voice of Batman. Oh, interesting. He does an excellent job. It's honestly really good. It's, It's the same guy. It's Bruce Timm and all of them. They did a really good job on it. Yeah, I would, that's a great team. I mean, he's hame use Hamish, you know. Yeah, exactly. But we got a really cool twist on that on the Penguin. There's a new twist on Harley Quinn in there. It's really good. Batman the caped Crusader on Amazon Prime. I'll check it out. It's all a ten episode run. Oh, yeah. The reason he wants Sue storm, he being Von Doom. Pronouns pal. It's because he could have any other woman. And like he specifies that he's like, I know, but I want her because I can. Ha! I was like, all right, dude, you just want to let us all know he's a bad dude. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, clearly out of spite for Reed Richards. Yeah. Ben Grimm has a plan to get Reed and Sue together, and he leaves them alone at a fancy restaurant in their office building. It looks like. Yeah, I don't know where they are. Okay, Reed says to storm. I'm happy for you and Victor, which is a nice thing to say. And for some reason she gets upset by this. This is a guy who is tricked into having dinner with his ex. I don't know, man. If all you can muster up to say is I'm happy for you. And Victor seems pretty cordial. I don't know why she starts ranting at this guy. I think it's because, she likes him and she wants him to like her, and he does, but he doesn't understand how to. She's been with Von Doom for two years now. Yeah, the man's planning to propose to her. You like? I don't know, I mean, it's it's the problem. The problem in the movie is, you know, these two are supposed to be together. How do we get them together? Just fucking put them together. Nobody cares. This is not the point of this. It's so out of the way because she's just ranting about I. Sometimes I just feel invisible and he's like, whoa, I can't see you now. She's like, look at me. So I can't I don't know why it felt like that. I thought that was a bad choice. Also, she says, look at me. And he is looking at her even though she's invisible. And then she's like, no, look at me. And he's like, I can't. You're invisible. Like I never stopped staring straight ahead. Yeah, I'm I'm like, come on. It is cool when they're slowly getting their power. So I like, well, yeah, we see we see her turn invisible and reeds first stretch because the thing falls over with his arm and catches it again. Doesn't look bad. That looks fine. It looks good for 2005. Yeah. Johnny runs in and for whatever reason, has not thought to put on any clothes he has. He has run all the way, this way, just to cover himself with the nurse's jacket. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. We then see Von Doom. He, like, starts to go bald, but that never comes back because he doesn't lose any other hair. That's true. And the he's getting, he gets like a scar. That's fine, I like that. But what's the point of showing him losing his hair when whenever we see his face in the movie, he doesn't lose his hair. Yeah, yeah. It's weird. Ben is in distress. And as Reed, Sue and Johnny go to try to get Ben, Rita stretches his arm under the door, unlocks it. I like Johnny going, that's gross. Yeah. Ben blasts through the wall and escapes. And this leads me to a question. Question? Does Ben run from Tahoe to New York? I guess so. He would think about that like, wow, they're in the mountains out west somewhere. Yeah. And he breaks out and just runs to New York. There would be. They were at New York Mountain. I'm 30, 31st and second away. It's a good it's a really good thing we set up our base in the Catskills. Yeah. Oh, thank God we set up the Fantastic Four base in the Catskills. Well, we could do all this work. Well, right at Bear Mountain. Now they're clearly at Tahoe or something, but there would be news articles, therapy, news stories all week long about people seeing the giant rockman running across the country. And yeah, I, I did not even clock that. I'm saying maybe he took a train. And here's the thing. If I'm wrong, tell me comment down below. Write in Royds Revue at gmail.com. Where is Ben running from? Because as far as I can tell, he's out in Tahoe somewhere in the mountains, out west, and he runs to New York. I don't know. Ben then calls his wife and tells her to come outside. Dude, you need to give her a little more of a heads up that you're a giant rock monster. See, I think that Deb is kind of an idiot. Yeah, he's talking to her like they're first on the phone that she comes down and they are speaking to one another, and she's like, man, it can't be that bad. And then he, like, steps into the light and she loses all sense of sanity. She's like, she just runs down the block like, okay, you know, it's him. You know, it's him. Like. And some guy's like, I'm gonna call the police. Yeah. And he's just like, I don't know, were just talking. I don't I don't understand. It's very it's she's the worst. She's. But that honestly led to the funniest part in the movie. Oh my God. And I will get to it. Yeah. We do get our first look at the thing here. And I think that's a good design. It's great. Yeah I again I just wish his brow came out a little bit more. But other than that, beauty is the thing gets shit on by a pigeon. He then stops a guy from jumping off a bridge. Let's have a little speculation. What do you think was this guy's 13th reason? I'm going to say. His his wife turned into a rock woman. Oh. I'm thinking this was all financial. He had the briefcase there. I think he lost all his money in the stock market and just couldn't do it. This was this guy's Black Tuesday. Okay, I'm going to go with the Rock woman thing, all right? I like that in saving this one man, Ben proceeds to kill several. Yeah, I like how at the end of this scene, they're all celebrated. It's like, no, he did that, though. Yeah, like this leads to another problem in this movie where Ben's weight seems to kind of vary depending on what he's doing. Yeah. So he stops a truck, like, dead in its tracks. Like he doesn't budge. The truck crumbles around him, and then like, a couple of seconds later, he's struggling to lift the fire engine, which I understand is fire engines. Heavier. Right. Like you didn't budge. But just like we see the thing here. Like it, like breaks under his weight. But then he also tries to sit on a stool. Later it's dude, if a metal beam wasn't going to hold your weight. Yeah, yeah. Come on man, come on. I thought the truck crumbling around him look cool. Yeah, I also like the thing when the guy can't get out of his seat, so come on in. So he just rips the seat out? Yes, I like that as well. I like that he's saving people. Like. That's cool. Even though he. It's his fault. Yeah. Some of this is, I think most of this is good because then we get the what I think is the worst scene in the middle of this scene. Oh, is it Sue storm having to strip down. Yeah, but it's not only that. It's like. Okay. Yeah. Chris, I mean, what's her name? Jessica. Alba's hot, so let's find an excuse to get her naked. Okay. It's good. In fairness, they did that with Chris Evans already. Sure, sure. Does that make it okay? No, but. Well. Hold on. No, no, no, if you're doing it with one gender, you could do it with the other. Like I'm saying, for both of them, I think it's just like it's it's it's very 2005. That's just 1005. Yes. Yes. And it is to be expected in 2005. So like, like here's at least we got both of them. Yeah, yeah. Because it would not be above these movies to just have Jessica Alba stripping. No, not at all, not at all. But the whole the reason she's doing it is she's like, I'm going to get us past this barrier. And she does it. She's invisible. So she gets through and then Johnny Storm and Reed Richards are there as well. How did they get through that? Makes sense. Doesn't make any sense at all. It's also these people watch her go invisible and then she actively pushes people out of the way like they know where you are. Yeah. If you see some some guys just walk in, just like, maybe I'll catch a movie. Maybe you'll catch a movie. I wouldn't surprise me. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's it's bad writing. That's stupid and weird. Yeah. You know what else doesn't make any sense? You know what else is bad writing? What's that? This fire truck is flying down the bridge. Yeah, you watch him go. All right, I'm approaching the scene. All right. Why don't you hit the brakes? Yeah, you go in 80. Yeah. He's still. He's still in full speed flying down. What are you doing? Yeah, yeah. This whole thing is this fire. Is this fire truck drivers fault? Yes. Oh, down! Slow down. The approaching scene. Yeah. You going pretty fast there, Ben? Yeah, yeah. Ben holds the fire truck up as Reed saves a falling fireman with his stretchy arms. And this led to, for me, the single funniest scene in the movie. Yes. Everyone's celebrating. Ben's wife shows up just to take off her wedding ring. Yeah, and place it on the ground. So. Okay, there's a crowd of people. Okay? There's a crowd. She was there. She was on the bridge. I think she's. I think she saw the news and just showed up. Let me make my way down. Yeah, let me make my way down and walk. You know, a mile and a half across this bridge. Let me walk into an active crime scene. Yeah, yeah. And as everybody's praising my, soon to be ex-husband, I'm going to not say a fucking word. Yeah, just look, make sure he sees me and just take that ring off and place it on the ground and walk away. What was this? If, first of all, and I don't mean to insult Michael Chiklis here. Well, like. Well, was she only with him for his looks that thick? Mr. Clean look he has going on like. Yeah, I guess you have to show her at least trying in this. You can't just have her go. Yeah. I'm out. Her father was killed by a boulder. Maybe, I don't know, but, like, maybe start the movie and he doesn't have a wife. And now this is going to make it harder for him to find love or something. You got to show them trying. Like in the comics, Debbie is a an actual character rather than just a thing that Ben loses. Like in this movie. Well, like, but like, yeah, guys, you want to get to Alicia masters or whatever her name is like, that's cool. You don't need this. I, I think it adds, I mean, if I think if they could have done something with this, but they really goofed it, it's just funny. Well, that's funny thing it because this is the last we see of her. Yeah. None of this matters. She didn't need to be a part of this movie. No, this is hilarious. The idea that this man went into space came back a giant rock monster. She watches him save all these people, and she goes, this is the final straw for me. Yeah, yeah. I hate firemen like shit. I'll let them die. I'm sorry, but my father was a cop. Yeah. I did, like, just the little period at the end of this scene. I did like that when he goes to pick up the ring, he can't. Yeah, he, like, smashes it down into the ground a little bit more. He's got a big rock fingers and he's like, getting frustrated. And then who picks it up. Read yes. And that's like symbolic. It's like okay yeah she left you but we got you, dude, I liked that. But everything else is dog shit. It's so I was I was cracking up at this woman. Just make sure you watched her take the ring off. Yeah, just evil woman. It's good. No no no no no. Read vows to help Ben look like himself again. And then Johnny asks a very fair question to Ben. Where are your ears? Yeah, dude. Here. Chris Evans is such a bright spot in this movie, man. Is there a pun intended there? Amy? Oh, because he's he's he's. Yeah. That's good. It wasn't. But. Yes. Hell yeah. And this is where we really start to see more of this dynamic and difference of opinion with Johnny and Ben, because Johnny's really hyped for all the celebrity. He wants everyone to see him, and Ben doesn't want anyone to see him. And this scene of the cop going, all right, who's the leader? And Johnny goes, that would be me. And the cab goes, okay, no, really? Yeah. I didn't catch that. That's pretty good. Yeah. You're like, okay. No, really. Sue storm is like, come on, read like you're the leader. Yeah. And he's like, why? I'm barely a character. Yeah, I have no personality. That's why you're the leader. I just stretch, really, and I do. I do the science stuff. That's why you're the leader of sudden. He's a giant green brain. Oh, even to the press, Johnny is a prick. To Ben. This is where I start to go, like, okay, dude, it was one thing to be a prick to him. Like busting his balls. Are you doing it to the world? Yeah. And so, like, there's a famous panel from the original Fantastic Four, and it's when they all, like, they put their hands in and they're like, we're the Fantastic Four. And like, I'm, Johnny Storm, so I'm going to be. I'm going to be, the Human Torch, right? And she's like, miss is invisible or wherever. It's like. And Ben Grimm is like, yeah, and I'll, I'll be the thing because, like, what the hell even am I? You know, I'm a PC shit. You know? Great. You know, the things are great character. But then you get Mr. Fantastic, who is just. Devoid of any sort of social understanding. And he's like, you'll be the thing. Okay, I'll be Mr. Fantastic. Yeah, because I'm great. It's like, okay, fuck you, dude. But here I think Johnny naming him the thing is, I think that makes sense as well. It does. Especially, Yeah, I think that comes a little later on, I think. Isn't it right there? No, I thought it was too, because I. What? I watched this twice, so I thought it was too. But it it happens. It's a little bit later on when it's just Johnny watching when it's when it's just Johnny there because the rest of them are watching him on TV. That's right. And he's like, I'm going to kill him. Yes he is now he's fucking dead, brother. Yet I'm going to clobber his fucking nutsack dust brother. The board tells Victor that they're pulling their funding. Stan Lee makes his cameo as the mailman. This joke also made me laugh because I got the usual for you, Mr. Richards. And it's all final notices. Yeah. And they call him something. I'm. I guess he's got a name here. Yeah, they actually have a name for him. I just called him the mailman. Yeah. As the Fantastic Four get on the elevator, it's like, oh, we're exceeding the weight limit. So they make Ben walk a. Come on, someone walk with them, guys. Johnny just walk with them. Question? Question. Why doesn't anybody accompany him? That's so fucking mean. He stops like, looks at them too and does like a really no one's got. Yeah. All right. Like sons of bitches. He's the only one who has truly lost anything. Yeah, exactly. Guys, you guys all look the same. In fact, everybody loves you now. Yeah, but him, he's a freak. Which is why this is the heart of the movie. No it's not. He didn't suit it. Should the. He should be the main character and everybody else should be supporting. Yeah. That's really. And I think that's what they fucked up in this movie is they made his story so compelling but didn't want to focus on it. Yeah, yeah. Victor then basically tells Sue that she's got to move into one of his condos for around the clock care. Yeah. What the hell does that mean? Oh. Oh, Victor. Victor von Kelly, who, well read, apologizes for the mission. Not going to plan. And Von Dooms like it is all your fault. Actually, he's like, all right, you know what? I tried to abort. He didn't want. There he goes. I'm pro-life. Because that's not what that means in this context. You're you're conflating two things in the elevator. Von doom punches the wall and dents it, and he's like, oh, shit, my hand's becoming metallic. Two yeah. Read then does some research on the other members. And he's such a fucking dick because he's like, all right, you you got to control your emotions. Yeah, yeah. Maybe if you had a little more self-control is what she. What he says and she's like, oh, okay. Okay. Fucking asshole. Yeah. But that's like typical Reed Richards. Like I think that's stuff. I wish they focus a little more on him being just like and not a dick on purpose, but a dick, you know? Yeah, but the problem is he's only seems to be a dick to sue storm because, like, here, he's like, you got to control your emotions, stupid woman. But then when he's working with Johnny, like he's not once like, because Johnny should also learn to control his emotions. But he doesn't say that. He gives a very levelheaded explanation of you can't go supernova because you can set everything on fire with hers. You just like he said, don't be a dumb woman. Yeah. He's like, hey, quit being a bitch. Yeah. B she's like, you know, you could talk that way to the other. If you talk that way to everybody. I go, oh, he's just awkward when you talk that way. Only to Sue. You're a misogynistic asshole. Yeah, and he's an a bad character. Yeah, yeah. Johnny was about to go supernova during this whole thing, but they put him out with some fire extinguishers, which is a very funny weakness to have fire extinguishers. I did like how they explain, like, dude, that was, pretty much as hot as the sun. Dude. Yeah. Like, you pretty powerful, And he goes supernova bad. Yeah. All right, come on. Cool, cool. Just letting the audience know. Yeah. You know, hey, that's a bad thing. We're idiot proofing. Idiot proofing? Yeah. Reed and Sue have a fight about their relationship. Sue wanted to take the next step and read. Did not, I don't care. Yeah, she wanted to move in. Yeah. All right. Whatever. And he was like. But, what? All of the thing is verbatim. What? Oh. What? Read. Analyze. Oh, I'm sorry. Von Doom and Hamish Linklater. I didn't catch that character's name, but also I just called him Hamish Linklater, and he's like, hey, ish, I guess a little bit. They argue about what's happening to Victor. Victor doesn't want the CDC to know. He's like, we can't tell the CDC. Yeah, it's like, okay, out you all for me? Read analyzes the suits and they're like, oh, they have the same powers we do. Why wouldn't you look at the suit earlier? Yeah. They also got hit with the blast and they have all those fibers and shit. Why did oh, you know what? After all this, maybe now it's time to look at the other things that hit the blast. You're idiots. Yeah, yeah, that's a good point. I do like the explanation of the suits. Yes, I think that's cool that it's like, oh, look, this is why we can wear these, and these all have the same powers that we do, but then we get the, Oh, you're actually going to wear that? Like, shut up. Josh, I know I don't need that. Any of that over breakfast, read says he's going to build a machine to recreate the storm. And then it's montage time. Yeah. Read it. Does some work. We also see him stretch for toilet paper. Yeah, that's. There's a lot of, like, just like slice of life stuff. Yeah. Which I don't really mind that so much in a better movie with better characters I welcome that. Yes, I want that. But in a movie where I'm actually like, because you don't have great characters other than Ben Grimm and Johnny Storm, which you don't show enough of. But like. I don't care, especially if you haven't showed me action either. So I, I really don't give a shit about your slice of life. With him reaching across the apartment for toilet paper. Move it along. Let's go. Somebody throw a punch like it's. Oh, I'm almost more interested in Johnny playing this prank on Ben. Yeah, but also, you're a big rock man. How do you feel? A feather tickling you? Yeah. Like, does he still have the same sense of feeling? Because that tells me if he can still get tickled by a feather that tells me I can punch him and hurt him. Well, yeah. He stopped at a truck earlier, right? Did he feel that? Is he, like, in agony all the time? Well, like that's what I'm saying. Like, yeah, you can just be like. Because I don't think Superman. You can't tickle Superman with a feather. Maybe you can, I don't know. Oh, I think Superman is different. I think he feels everything. It's just like, I don't know, email in if you're Superman. Yeah. Here's the thing. Do you feel. Oh, I mean Superman. Yeah. Right in do feel getting tickled. Yeah. And would you like us to tickle you? Oh. Ooh. Von doom is becoming more metal than man. He gets a good zap from an outlet. He then blasts a hole through a guy who goes, go back to that area, man. Honestly, I think we should blast holes through anybody. You tell someone to go back to their home country. Now, is that the guy he blasts a hole in in the parking lot? The guy who? The guy. The board member who, like, shut his company down or whatever. Yeah, okay. That imagery was great. I love the hole in the guy's body. And you see, like, pieces of his rib cage and stuff. Like, hell yeah. I love a good hole blasted through someone. And you can see right through the hole. Yeah. Hell yeah. Brother. Yeah. That's sick. Doesn't. Didn't he, Did he kills doctor yet have. No. I passed that because there's a scene where, like, the doctor's like, hey, we got it. Yeah, I think it's the CDC guy. He kills him. Bladder comes back. Yeah, that wasn't Hamish Linklater. I think that was a different guy. It was a doctor. I just called everyone in this movie Hamish Linklater. Who? You. Look, I thought. I thought he was the assistant as well, but he's not. He's a doctor because he's like, yeah, you got to go to the CDC. Like, this is what if it was him who says that? Well, then he killed him. Unless he just knocked him out, I think he comes back. I have no, I don't really care if being on email in. If you're Hamish Linklater. Did you get killed in Fantastic Four? Yeah. I thought he killed the guy, but, like, he killed the doctor because he doesn't want anybody to know. But now you have a there's a body. You know, that's a whole new set of problems. Yeah, well, who knows that? But, like, he doesn't want people to, like, he doesn't want the CDC investigating him. Basically, he's like, he doesn't want anyone looking into him and trying to cure him because he realizes he's becoming stronger and stronger. But then again, this is also this weird thing where I don't know all Yvonne Doom wants is power. Okay? We get to a point where it's like his whole thing is like, now I can have power. Now I'm strong. It's like, yeah, all right, I don't can. Yeah. Johnny watches the X games and that just go. And then he goes, I'm gonna go join them because that's something you could just do is just go join the X games while they're going on. I liked how he popped popcorn in his hand. That was cool. Yes, I do like that. He's just holding the thing. Yeah. Very cool. While Johnny is on his way to MSG or wherever they're holding the X games, some dude challenges him to a race in the middle of New York City. Yeah, in the middle of the day. Yeah. You ever drive in New York City, brother Bear? Yeah. All right, so here's my question. Question? Doesn't he have to touch things to light it on fire? Yes. Not because he seemingly just makes his man's tires combust by looking at him. Yeah, not how his powers work. Take this out. Yeah. You know, what are we doing at the X games? Johnny decides to try a fly. The rest of the group see him on TV, and this is where he gives everyone their name. Because the woman's like. And I heard Mr. Fantastic and stretch any part of his body, and he goes, hey, he's always been a little bit limp to me. And he said, so you guys fuck. And then he calls Sue the Invisible Girl and he calls Ben the thing, and now he's fucking dead. Yeah. Now we go, okay, we'll get killed. I'm going to kill everybody. Ben and Johnny fight. Ben punches Johnny through Reed, which I kind of like. Yeah, and right into the Burger King advertisement. Because it's a flame grilled whopper, don't you know? Yeah. Clothing this movie then just starts adding things in because Von Doom finds some really good freezing stuff. That's going to be his plan. I originally thought I was like, oh, he's just going to freeze Johnny Storm, but now it's much smarter. He's freezing. Mr. Fantastic. Yeah, but then we we see Ben and he goes to this bar. Kerry Washington is in this movie as Alicia masters a blind woman. Kerry Washington is way too good for this. Yeah, yeah. That was I mean, it was like my first note was, is that Kerry Washington? Yeah. What? She also says that God isn't into hate, but man, do I have a book for you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And, for some reason, she is attracted to this Rockman and some of her old personality, I don't know. Yeah. You still feeling him, right? Like she's still in his face and she's like, I'm trying to catch some rock cock. Yeah, it's like that family guy bit, but there's a limit. Yeah. It's like, am I feeling the side of a house? Von doom has a really smart plan here because he wants to get rid of the thing who was always protecting Mr. Fantastic. But again, Von Doom is going back and forth between wanting to kill Mr. Fantastic and just wanting to rule something like, yeah, pick one. Yes, I agree. Reed decides he's going to test out his new machine on himself, but instead Sue takes him to the place where they started dating. We are on a time crunch, Sue. Yeah, yeah, like at this point, I was it was hard not to check out. Yeah. Because like, nothing's happening now that we're wasting time, we're just not. It's like we don't where this is leading to. Just get there now. Yes. Ben and Reed have a little fight. Reed eventually uses his stretchiness to contain Ben in a full Nelson or whatever. I liked how he did like the blanket thing where he become like a giant, but that was very cool. Look good to Ben. Also flips on a dime in this movie. It takes no time at all for Von Doom to be like, hey Ben, they don't care about you as at you, right? Well, like they did, like he did say, I'm going to stop at nothing. I will not rest until I turn you back into a human. Yeah. And then, like, he goes on a little date, and so then they come back and Ben sitting there, he's like, the fuck, I'm still a rockman. I always, I always get this right. Whatever he says. Some of the long lines of it. Yeah, I get that response a lot when people sees me. Yeah. But like he's I mean he's he's right. Like you said, you would stop at nothing. But I'm like, now you're kissing you. Kissing over there. Yeah, but Johnny should have told you I'm not I can't, I can't, I can't right now. I know what you're trying to say, Sue, but this is a bad time, right? But he's, you know, barely a character, so. Yeah, Johnny Storm has already gone to the marketing department. Yep. Okay. And as a toy version of the thing, whatever. Sue and Johnny have a little argument, and Sue tells Johnny that he's just a fad to them. Yeah. Reed test his machine on himself and turns himself into a big gloop. And Victor is just watching all of this on his security camera. And he then, like, bring Ben to the Baxter Building, and he just turns Ben to normal, which ultimately means nothing because he's only normal for like three seconds. Yeah, he's normal, and he punches him so hard. Yeah, that he flies through like machinery and shit. I mean, I know the ultimate purpose of this was not for Ben to be normal. Because we see Von Doom, like, stick his hand in the machine and all the power in the city starts to flicker, and it increases Von Doom's power. So that was the problem that Reed said. He said, like, okay, he tried it on himself and it didn't work. He said, oh, there's not enough power. So then doom gives it enough power to work. But then, spoiler alert, Ben goes back into the machine to become a Rockman again. I thought it didn't have enough power. Yeah, that again. That's I don't understand. That's why I didn't know. I thought Von Doom just had the more power and that. And he was just trying to freak himself, you know what I mean? Make himself even stronger. I thought he just had the power. I thought he got the power. The. Well, I thought he lets everybody dance now. Oh, that's a lot to see. It is really awesome. He he, Yeah. I think he adds power to the machine so that it works. See, I just thought that's what I thought. I thought he was just sucking power from everywhere because he had all that money and resources. I don't know, I think it's just not well written. So we don't really know. I'm egregious to that. Yeah. Well, we see all the power in the city start to flicker. We start to see all the members, all the other members. We see Reed, we see Sue, we see Johnny. And for some reason, Reed just sleeps in his Fantastic Four suit. Yeah, I guess. Okay. I think they're kind of like jammies. Yeah, that's true. Von doom, who is now almost all metal, smacks Ben across the room and knocks Reed out of the Baxter Building. He does a very slow, stretchy fall because apparently he was warmed up, so now he just constantly stretches. So is that from him being in the machine? I failed. Don't know. Okay. I watch him go, hey, Reed, do you know what happens if you, fucking heat up rubber? And I'm gonna be honest, I was like, I don't know. And this is not the first time I say that. This is not the last time I'm gonna say, I don't know what happens. Yeah, because then he just, like, shoots, like a laser or something, and it just hits the machine behind him. And that causes Reed to just lose all ability to not stretch. Interesting. Okay, this also made me laugh. Von Doom's mask was a trophy. Yeah. I don't know. He, like, breaks open a case and just puts it on his face. Well, it says that it's a trophy for something. Yeah. For what? Evil, I don't know. Most evil goes to Victor, whose name is evil. Yeah. Victor von, if you if your name is Victor Von Doom, that's gonna have to be. Yeah, you have to be evil. Yeah. Doom freezes. Reed. Just kill him now. But he's not going to do that. He fires a heat, heat seeking missile at the other members of the Fantastic Four, and Johnny leads it away because we get the first flame on, I like it. Yeah. Me, too. And he leads it to a garbage barge. Yeah. This is also where we see Ben get back to the machine. So this that lasted all of about four seconds. Well, like, they find Ben, like, slumped over some machinery that he just got, like, punched through. Yeah. And Sue is elated even though he's slumped over this machine, but she's like, oh my God, it worked. Yeah, she worked to normal. It was like, yeah, I'm also concussed. This dude just knocked me through. He just punched me 14ft like dead. I also think my lunch was talking to me earlier from the CTE, but yeah, yeah, yeah. Sue tries to save Reed, but she gets stopped by doom. That's when Reed sees the machine doing stuff, and then the thing blasts into the room and we get a it's clobbering time, Ray. And he punches time. Yeah, and he punches doom across the room. And then for some reason, Ben gives Reed shit before saving him. Does he? Was he? He's like, oh, Victor's not that bad a guy. Oh yeah. It's like two do not. Now's not the time. Just doom. Well, the, Ben is just doing this to him. Just tackles him out a window. I really like this fall. Yeah. It's good. I think the fight, like in the street when they finally get to the street, I think the fight is pretty good. Yeah. No, I agree, we got a good Wilhelm scream during this fight. Yeah. This is where Reed becomes a tarp. And then he tells Johnny to go supernova. Sue uses her powers to contain the fire, slash the heat. So she's working so hard she gets a little nosebleed. Yeah, I thought that was cool as well. Ben kicks over a fire hydrant after Johnny has created this, like, firestorm around doom and really heated up the metal. Now he's just a big metal man. Yeah, he's like, go supernova. Yeah. Oh, those bad you. He's fucking do it. Who cares? Come on. Like, now's not the time to question. It's just fucking too. What? Did the atmosphere go away, Johnny? Like, what are we doing here? Ben directs the water to Reed, who fires the water at doom. And Reed goes, what happens when you rapidly cool hot metal? And again, I'm going. I don't know. I'm not a scientist and none of this has ever been discussed before. This, I don't know. You're right, you're right. Like, I'm sorry you felt the need to idiot proof so much of this movie. You need to idiot proof right now because I don't know what happens. You're funny. If doom like when he asks, you know what happens when you cool? You know, whatever he says, and Doom's like, no, what? Hahahahaha! But that was happened to me. Like, I understand they're trying to prove that doom and Reed are smart and I know it's a callback to doom ask these questions, but it's like I but like, I don't know. These things assume you're this movie as a dumb boy. I don't know this shit. So like to just ask that. It's like, I, I guess it freezes up. I guess, and that's, that's what happens. So I guess that's what happens. Yeah. Like, I don't know. Okay. Okay. Yeah. They have a party to celebrate. Grimm and Alicia masters are now a thing. She has to be on top right? No, dude. She's dead. Yeah. She'll never walk again, brother. Also been going back and forth between Rockman and Normal Man. What's going on with the DNA, brother? So, like, you got some pretty aggressive cancer? Yeah. Oh, without a doubt. Yeah, I have stone tumors. You needs stone chemo. Oh. Reed proposes to stew, and she turns invisible. That's my nose, silly. Well, sorry. You're invisible. I don't know if I can see you, you asshole. This is why we broke up. Johnny cracks one more joke at Ben's expense, yells flame on and flies off. We got a quick the end and then another scene. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Doom's alive. Yeah, well, he's being locked up, unlike a barge and transported, and they just tell us how many Hamish Linklater is here, and he goes. It'll be about 12 days, I guess, until the freighter arrives, till that area, I don't know. So Raiders of the Lost Ark ascending, though. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And then the rest of the credits roll. Yeah, I did like there was a scene. It might be at the very end where Ben, like, sincerely asks Johnny Storm. Yeah, no. Hey, man, no more wisecracks. Stop making fun of me. Like this isn't easy for me, okay, I like that. But then he just does it anyway. It's like you know that Dennis the Menace. Yeah. Well, Robbie, what do you think? What do you think? We. Should we go to Letterboxd? I think we should go to Letterboxd. And you can follow us on Letterboxd at the Royds Band. That's interesting. I guess, about that. Interesting, though. What do you think, though, Robbie? I don't know. I don't know how I feel about this. I'm thinking to I was going to give it a little more than two, only because I was pleasantly surprised. I think this looks way better than I thought it would. Okay. And the action, though it is few and far between. I thought that last fight was pretty good. I thought the last fight was pretty good. Sorry, letterbox is making me log back in. I thought the last fight was pretty good. I really like Michael Chiklis in this. I think him and Chris Evans have really good chemistry. Yeah, like everything else in this movie is just kind of like, man, yeah, it's just not seem like. But I didn't because I was pleasantly surprised. I was thinking like a two and a half, but I'm also not married to it. Okay, I'll, I'll do two and a half. That's fine. Because like, I thought it was a movie that was made like, yeah, yeah, they didn't totally throw out the source material, but like, they were also like, I don't know, I don't need the will. They won't, they will Sue and Johnny I don't need or Sue and Reed. Rather I don't need that at all. Yeah. They want it to do what will they want. They with Sue and Johnny. That's going to be a weird story. It's going to do great in the South. Oh, yeah. But, the I did like the little scenes, like with Sue and Johnny because they barely really interact. But there was like that one where she's like, you're just a fad to them. Yeah. And he's like, you're not mom. And I was like, you give me a little more of that. Maybe you did. I'd feel like she was an interesting character. And also she she has a scene with Ben where he's like, I wish I was invisible. Like, you're lucky. I was like, yeah, that's pretty good. It's pretty good. One more of that. Yeah. Well, then this like Will they won't, I don't care. Okay then is the heart of this movie and they don't do enough of them. I agree, I agree. I all that being said, and us giving us a 2.5, which I feel is a little bit generous, but I'm okay with it. The average on letter box is 2.6, believe it or not. Whoa. I don't really understand why this movie got. I feel like you got a considerable amount of hate, right? I feel like the hate started to pick up when the MCU really took off, because this is only three years before Iron Man, and that is bananas. Yeah. And everyone went like, that's how you make a superhero movie. It's like, yeah, but they were still just trying shit. And like, this is when they were trying to make a superhero movie like your typical Hollywood movie, like a rom com. Almost. Right. And they were going for that here. That's this movie's not taking any risks. No. Like, yeah, not at all. So yeah. 2.5 follow us on Letterboxd. Like Robbie said. But I have four trivia questions. Oh, shoot. Oh, dang. Shucks. Yeah, I got three. I'll go first. What type of flower is Sue storm allergic to? Tulips, sunflowers. Orchids? Violets. Is it orchids? It is orchids. Yeah. It reads like she's learned orchids. Well. But those sunflowers over there, she's allergic to orchids. Yeah, she's a little killer, but the doctor's like. Well, good thing we're nowhere near the ocean. Strange thing to bring up. Who suggested Michael Chiklis to the studio? Was it Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Hugh Jackman, or Jason Mars? Did. Ben Affleck know who the other options Jennifer Garner, Hugh Jackman, Jason Marsden, Hugh Jackman, no. Jennifer Garner. Yes. You knew it. Yeah. She was like, what's in your wallet? Very good. And I could check your business. Jennifer was a really good choice for this. It is, it is. And he was a big fan. Turns out. Makes like the only one of them who was a big fan of the comic and the character. That's cool. Yeah. What does Ben attribute to his stomach acting up when he's sitting at the table with Reed and soup. Bad shrimp, too much coffee, undercooked chicken, spoiled milk, bad shrimp. It is bad shrimp. That's one bad shrimp, brother. That's what I say when I hit. It's a leather jacket. Some bad shrimp. Oh, no. Oh, no. Who was considered for Johnny Storm before settling on Chris Evans, Paul Walker, Heath ledger, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Reynolds, no. Joseph Gordon-Levitt. No Heath ledger, no. The other guy you said Paul Walker, Paul Walker, suckers. Circus. You know it? Yeah. You know. Which of these names does Ben Grimm call the guy who's going to jump off the bridge? Freak. Fruitcake. Psycho nutjob. Nutjob? No. Psycho. No. Freak, no. What was the last one? Fruitcake. Fruitcake. Okay, cool. Yeah. That's 2005, baby. Yes. It was. How many Wilhelm screams are there in this movie? Two, three, 4 or 5. Fall down in. Got one. Two. You. You're right. Two. Hi. Nice. And they're in the same scene. There's two. Wilhelm screams. There's overlap at the same time. Didn't stereo fit? The fire truck that Ben Grimm saves was ladder number 54, 55, 56, 57. That's an easy one. That's 57. No, they. All right. Oh, that's an easy one. 56. No, no. Oh, man. That's an easy one. I forgot the other ones. You said, is it 54 or 55? Oh, that's an easy one. 54. It is 54. Yeah. That's it. Dude. That's crazy. Thank you. Nailed it like that. Yeah, well, you know me. They call me the nailer. Do they? Yeah, they said that. And I said, why don't you just call me the hammer? They said, no, no, you're the nailer. All right. Sick dude. Yeah. Oh not charge. You know. You know what I did? Did you write a song? I wrote a song. Me two. I also picked flip. Flip that shit. Robbie. Call it tails. It's heads. I hit the microphone with the flip, but it is heads. Okay, so it's rigged. Got. Yeah. Got it. Robbie. At least you know Deflategate. Yep. They call me Tom Brady because I'm always winning. Yeah they call me Robert Kraft because I'm always going for happy endings. Price is the owner culprits. They call me Andy. Oh very nice. Yeah. And what kind of song you got? You got a song? It's like rock. It's like rock and roll, I guess. Yeah. All right, I'll go first. Okay. My song is called freak of the week, and it's really about Ben Grimm. And I just really focused on the heart of this movie. Ben Grimm. And yeah, it's kind of poppy, kind of rocky kind of music, you know what I mean? I'm just gonna play it for you. It's called freak of the week, and it goes like this. What do you see looking at me? How can I be a hero? Looking like this? Scaring the kids? A woman thinks I'm a weirdo. I own friends like I can't turn it off. What do you see looking at me? How can I be a he road like I'm running? They go screaming when they get a peek. Get your camera, get above. Get a glance of the freak. Freak of the way. Hide in my face. Stay in the place I don't want the world to see me. My heart is unlocked. My head is a rock. So is my whole damn body. Though I'm so strong I give it all up. What do you see looking at me? How can I be a hero? Oh, they run, they hide when they get up. He. That you can make anything up. Get a glance of the freak. Freak of the week. The brains of up. Cover it up. The print up, cover it up, up, cover it up, cover it up, cover up, cover and up. Up oh oh. Oh. They run, they hide. When they gonna be. Get your camera. Get a phone up. Get a glance at the freak. Freak of the week. They run, they hide. When they get a peek. Get your camera, get a photo. Get a glance at the freak. Freak of the week. That was my song called freak It a week I like it, I like the hind, the hind of prey, the wing. Oh, thanks. Yeah, it's all three guys. At one point, Ben calls himself the freak of the week. Wow. Yeah. You know, like, your. You're. The melody was very, school Lulu. Yeah. You do. I did all the music, and I sat down on the piano and I started playing. I started playing, I was like, you know what? Let me write the melody, and then I'll write the lyrics, and that's how I. Oh, yeah. So I did all that. And then that's how I just threw it on the solo. And the solo was an organ, and I also threw a little marimba on it, solo. So I keep it a little like, do you know what I mean? More like my Robbie, I guess. So you got to take a shot, you know? Yeah. No, I like it. Well, but yeah, I focus really on Ben because I thought he was the heart of this movie. Even though he's got a heart of stone. Literally. Robbie. Robbie. I also focused on Ben Grimm in my song. What? Why don't you tell us about that? Well, I mean, did you have anything else to say about your song? Not really. One of the things I really try to do now is I try to write it on acoustic guitar and then just fill in everything over that, because it gives me a lot more room to play. And that's really what I've been trying to do lately. And that's what I did. And I like writing the melody first on the piano, so I'm going to try to do that a lot more to cool, because it gives me a real melody to stick to. Yeah, yeah, I think, I mean, in, in songwriting, melody is king, you know, it's nobody's going to remember your chords. They're going to remember the melody, you know, the or the beat. Yeah. It's mostly the middle, you know. Oh give me a, give me a you gotta have a rap over that. Now Andy. Okay. Is most mostly the melody. That's what I'm. That's what you telling me? It's. No, wait. That's what I'm telling you. Oh, shit. Anyway, my song is. Do you want to rap about your song? And then we'll play your song. I'll be. I'll be honest, Robbie, I don't have the ability to do that. My name is Andy, and I wrote a song. I hope you'll listen. It's not very long. It's between 2 and 5 minutes. I'm not really sure because I haven't listened to it. It's pretty good. Thanks. Now you can actually tell us about your song. Okay. My song is called fantastic, and, it's, Ben Grimm, so it's, very sarcastic. Fantastic. You know, he's like, fantastic. I'm a rock man. Kane. Fucking tasty fan. For good days to come, we'll go rocking. Okay, so, Yeah, it's, I wrote it, and then I recorded it. Oh, yeah? Yeah, if you could believe that. And it's called fantastic. And it's about Ben Grimm. Check it out. Oh, your power seem pretty. To have. I gotta tell you, I think I drew the short straw through sickness and how you're supposed to stay with me. But I get it. Yeah, I get it. How could you and I be? Oh. Fantastic. I'm the only one who's a monster. Everyone else loves to say. Take. No one else is lost as much as I did. Am I going, hey, I'm the only one who's a monster. Everyone else love Princess Nick. No one else loves as much as I did. Am I going insane? Nick, this isn't a game to me. I've lost everything. I'm probably the best person in this life. But am I a person or am I a rock? I'm. I'm. Fantastic. I'm the only one who's a monster. Everyone else would be tastic. No one else is lost. But am I going to Nick? I'm the only one to have. Haven't I always had it? Nick? No one else is. Was. But I do you on the inside. It's the top of it. Stay. This is so fantastic. And fantastic. So, yeah, it's my song called fantastic. I really like that. I like that riff. You start playing the doodling and and, Oh, good. Thank you, thank you. I was like the harmonies on the on the fantastic. Those was really good. That was really cool. I like that a lot. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, it's I mean, I, since, we started this podcast, I've usually after I watched the movie, I try to strike while the iron is hot, like, all right, this movie's in my mind. You pick up a I pick up usually an acoustic and go for it. And I came up with those two riffs and I was like, okay, that's the song. Boom, let's, let's let's get it, I dig it. Yeah. I think generally writing on acoustic is, I don't know, I just don't think there's a better sound, I agree, than like an acoustic guitar and like, like a piano as well. Like a regular piano, you know, like, I think it's just a good acoustic guitar you can put in there with anything, and it's not going to sound out of place. Yeah, yeah. So a piano. Yeah. No. But, yeah, that's that's my song. It's got riffs. Probably would have got going on next week. That's a great question. Next week we are doing the fabulous quartet fall of the Golden Boogie border. We're doing Fantastic Four rise of the Silver Surfer. Right, right, right. I hear it's better. I've never seen it. Me neither. But, I have high hopes for the new Fantastic Four. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's all in. No, no, no, this is all in preparation for, of course, the MCU's Fantastic Four. What is it called? First step, Newt. New hope? Yep, yep. Blue harvest, fantastic four, blue harvest. Yeah, that's the one. Yeah. So we will, of course, be covering that in, hot and fresh. Coming hot and fresh. Right? Right at your butt. Ooh. Yeah. Well, if you want more of the music, you go to Spotify, Deezer, wherever you get your music. Stinger. It's. And, you search the writes ROI ideas and, you'll find a bunch of collections of podcast songs, but also studio recordings. Now, if you want everything, you go to the Roadster bandcamp.com and you will find everything, every single podcast song, including bonus songs, guest songs, every single song, as well as our studio recordings. Also, the YouTube has all the music. Robbie, Robbie, tell us a little more about our socials. You go to Instagram, you go to TikTok, you go to YouTube, you go to Reddit. You type in the Royds band, Truth Social. We're not on that. We could be. I'll start a truth Social. Don't do it, Robbie. Don't do it to mind. Don't do it, Robbie. You can. You. We can say anything on there. Yeah, yeah. You're not oppressed like you are. Regular internet pigeons are platter pie. You did it and likes up to wazoo. Wow. You send us an email at Royds Revue at gmail.com. We like to hear from you, give us some feedback. Request a movie. Correct what we've gotten wrong. If you're watching on YouTube, like subscribe, leave a comment down below that I said email roger Revue at gmail.com. I'm sure I did Instagram TikTok, Reddit. Like our post comment. Interact with us bibbidi-bobbidi-boo. It really helps me in you. That's new. Another time it's in your shirt. Robbie did the hiccup of shame and now he bowed his head. I was going to say your shirt is blue. It is blue. That would have been another rhyme, but I've got cable on my finger. Why are you just fidgeting? You know. All right, so next week we're doing fantastic. All right. Well, sorry. That's what I was doing. My song was playing. Was crushing my fingers in a cake. I noticed that you got a you got. You might need to talk to somebody. Wasn't just my fingers. Yikes. He did. His nose was my toes. Oh. Teehee. Robbie. All right. Fantastic for rise of the Silver Surfer. Check it out next week. We'll see you then. We'll see you later. Bye everybody.